Two more quotes before I go...

from a reflection on Martha and Mary:

“The external world is inclined to consider itself the real world; it accepts the inner realm as a remote, somewhat degenerate addition in which the weakling takes refuge when he can go no further. One day the correction will be made. What is now silent will be clearly evident as the stronger thing; what is now hidden as the decisive. The heart will prove itself mightier than the hand, a man’s essence weightier than his works. But things will not be entirely right until both worlds meet and blend. Then as much of the extrinsic will remain as is justified by the intrinsic; the rest will fall away. Only that will be received into the new creation which the spirit upholds as true.” (Guardini, Romano. The Lord, p. 228)      

This is how I hope to cross the threshold this afternoon, by the grace of God...                 

“So with no regrets and a heart filled with joy, I walked through the Catholic monastery enclosure door...With a heart overflowing with gratitude I gave myself forever to the Lord.”

(from Sr. Mary Mannes O.P.’s vocation story in Vocation in Black and White, p. 14...Sr. Mary Mannes is one of the sisters at my convent)

When I wasn't looking...

...16 of my Dominican Brothers at the House of Studies were installed as Lectors on (or around?) September 18th. (Pictures are here...starting in the second row.) May they persevere in their vocations to serve God as sons of St. Dominic!

Hopefully in the future my sisters will keep me more up-to-date on the Friars' news than I have kept myself!

Also, Br. Peter Martyr Joseph posted an article about today's feast of Our Lady of the Rosary on the Vocations Blog.

Our Lady of the Rosary

source

Today is the Feast of Our Lady of the Rosary,

and my last full day at home.

Here is a quote from a Benedictine monk, which a friend sent me a few years ago on the Rosary and which I have never quite forgotten (my emphasis in bold): 

"Be not afraid of distractions, provided you are willing to struggle against them.  Our heavenly Mother understands so well our weakness, our tired feelings, our weariness at times.  Hail Mary's multiplied never displease her. She appreciates your murmurings of faith, hope, and love. Do your best. But, never give up your beads. To carry them on your person . . . is that not as if you were saying them all day, all night secretly? 

 Keep them, at times, especially in time of trial, in the hollow of your hand. That is to clasp Mary's hand."

out of curiosity, I just googled the first line, and (as I suspected) found a longer version on Vultus Christi. 

Go there for the rest of it!

P.S. The Dominican Friars have redesigned their website (I thought I was lost for a minute!), and just posted a brief note for today's feast here.

A Great Victory!

Now I have yet another reason to be proud of my Dominican brethren:

Dominican Province of St. Joseph | Dominicans Triumph Over Marians, 14-8 Blog | op-stjoseph.org

(I never thought I'd be posting baseball scores here, but hey, there's a first time for everything, right?!)

A Rose of Suffering

Source

 Today is the feast day of Saint Rose of Lima, a third-order Dominican and the first canonized saint of the Americas.

 Here are two quotes from the writings of Saint Rose, in the Office of Readings for today:

"We cannot obtain grace unless we suffer afflictions. We must heap trouble upon trouble to attain a deep participation in the divine nature, the glory of the sons of God and perfect happiness of soul."

"No one would complain about his cross or about troubles that happen to him, if he would come to know the scales on which they are weighed when they are distributed to men."

Saint Rose of Lima,
pray for us,
that we may bear our splinters of the Cross
with joy and thanksgiving as you did,
for the glory of God and the salvation of souls!

Can Failures Be Forgiven?

<10:45 am-11:05am>

I failed in one of my goals: the one about only posting once each day. Willfully failed. And now, oddly enough, the internet no longer connects for me this morning. But I still feel compelled to write. Maybe Someone is trying to teach me not to set un-realistic goals? I cannot hold back the words, cannot keep to one post each day as I wanted. Because I have to write my days here. I have to record the joys and the sorrows, the struggles, and the lessons, the successes, and the failures. Of course, I cannot let my internet life consume my real life, in the world with living breathing people, my family and neighbors. A line must be drawn somewhere. The question is, where?

Even as I grapple with this question, I am grateful, so grateful that I was allowed to see the photos of my Dominican Brother Novices on the Vocation Blog, and rejoice in the dramatic Name Revelation of each of them before the internet stopped working down here. But the waiting—though it was only two days, it seemed like forever—is over. His name is Peter Joseph, and he is my brother.

*  *  *  *  *

And I am no less grateful that Ann Voscamp’s grace-filled words loaded for me as well. It is “Walk With Him Wednesday” at A Holy Experience, and she writes on forgiveness today...

Which prompted the question, “Who do I need to forgive today?”

Myself, first of all. As the song goes, “It’s me, it’s me, it’s me, O Lord, standing in the need of prayer...” and the same might be said of forgiveness. If I am not right with myself, I cannot be right with anyone else either: not with my family and neighbors, and not with God.

So what threatens to hold me back from self-forgiveness? Nothing, if I have a will to let go of everything. God has forgiven me all, and I cast all into the deepest ocean of His unfathomable Love. Everything, Lord. Only by letting go of my doubts, weaknesses, and failures can I truly live my life fully. Here and now. This was true in the Dominican Monastery while I was there for three weeks in June, and it is still true now, during my sojourn back in the world, even if it is harder to practice out here.

But it is time to go. Maybe I will post this later, if I am allowed back on the internet this afternoon. In the meantime, I think I should go help with a bit of housekeeping and perhaps read some of Witness to Hope before lunch if I have time.

Lord, everything I am is Yours.

Help me, I beg You, to be living witness of Your life.

To forgive as I have been forgiven.

To love as I have been loved.

To be a conduit of Your hope for others.

Let me walk with You all the days of my life, Lord!

Amen.

The Shield of Hope

This is the Shield of Hope.

It has a Story and Symbolism.

Story Teaser (see below for the end):

Yesterday I set a goal for myself. But sometimes goals can be difficult to accomplish...did I make it? Read on to find out!

The Shield's Symbolism:

The Cross at the center represents the Dominican Order, to which I am an aspirant. My vocation is a great source of hope to me. Every time I listen to one of the Friars Preachers giving a homily or lecture, or to Word to Life, they help me unlock the mystery of God's Love. I am not perfect, but I am not one of the Perfectae, either! Praise be to God, I have been spared from heresy, only by grace.

The Raven with Bread in the bottom left quadrant represents the Benedictine Order, to which I will always be deeply indebted. I spent my childhood near a Benedictine Monastery and Highschool, which I later attended, and obtained my Bachelor's degree in Theology from a Benedictine College as well. So the Benedictine way of life and spirituality has shaped my life thus far, in ways that I am still discovering. And the monks that I have known have been a great source of inspiration, encouragement, and hope for me in my daily life.


The Lily in the bottom right quadrant represents purity. After the virtues of Love, Faith, Hope, and Humility, Purity is the virtue I most prize and strive to practice in my life. Jesus says in the beatitudes, "Blessed are the Pure of Heart, for they shall see God." And isn't this what we all hope for, above all else? To see God!

The Sun and Cloud at the top left quadrant represents Christ Our Light (Thanks be to God!) who shines through-nay, shines over-our clouds of darkness and despair if only we have the eyes to see. As Saint Paul says, nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus! (Romans 8:35-39)

And what about the blank top right quadrant? It is not empty. It is filled with God's Providence. Lord, I am here, I exist only to do Your will. All I ask for are Your Love and Your Grace that I may always echo Your Blessed Mother's "Fiat! May it be done to me according to Thy Word!" (Luke 1:38)

With this shield, I will continue in the battle for the King of Kings: for Love, in Hope.

*  *  *  *  *

The Story:

Yesterday I set a *very important* goal for myself: I had had enough of my pathetic habit of waiting around, and was determined to speak to a friend about a very important but delicate question concerning my application to the convent. By dinnertime, I had not yet seen her, nor called her on the phone. My mother suggested that I email my friend with the question...To my joy, however, I did end up seeing her soon afterward. To my dismay, I never had a chance to ask her, since there were too many people around, and there was never a convenient break in the conversation.

So, frustrated with myself and a little bit worn out, I left her presence practically in tears. It was a Love War battle. Upon arriving home, I found that I was providentially home alone. I love my family dearly, but sometimes I just need space. Alone, I was able to vent my frustration and fatigue in a relatively peaceful manner. Instead of bursting out angrily at myself as I so often have in the past, I managed to sing the tension away with some of my favorite hymns and antiphons, especially the ones I learned from the Benedictines at college. And I emptied the dishwasher, before heading downstairs to say Vespers, all of which made me feel better, too. After Vespers, I finally emailed my friend with the question, as my mother had suggested. A sad and sorry last resort it was, but it was better than nothing, and I did achieve my goal, more or less.

And then I designed Hope's Coat of Arms. Yes, that meant I was on the computer in the evening far later than I ever should be, but sometimes I guess I just have to fight one battle at a time, no? And Providentially, there is always tomorrow to start over and try again, no?

Praise be to God for Hope, and for the successful conclusion to another Love War Battle!

A Day of Joy for Dominic's Children

This is the second post for today...but it's the Founder's Feast and thirteen of my brothers in the Order of Preachers have just received the Holy Habit this morning!

Here they are, in all their glory, along with the sixteen brothers who started out last year:

from Order of Preachers Vocations

Don't ask me to name them all--I can't name more than two of them for sure, but they are all in my prayers everyday.

When last year's class received the Holy Habit, I wrote all their names down on pieces of paper and drew one to pray for in particular, as a sort of representative of the group for me. At that time, the Holy Spirit matched me with Brother Thomas Davenport (I believe he's the seventh from the left in the back row).

Naturally, this year, I went through the 'lottery' again and was assigned to Christopher (in the back row, 8th from the right) He probably has a new name already but I don't know it yet.

Anyway, just looking at this picture makes me so happy! I have never met a single one of these men, but I hope to someday.

I love my Dominican family!

God bless my Dominican family!

Giving thanks on the Feast of Saint Dominic

O Lumen Ecclesiae

Doctor veritatis

Rosa patientiae

Ebur castitatis

Aquam sapientiae

propinasti gratis

Praedicator gratiae

nos junge beatis.

-Traditional Dominican Hymn to Saint Dominic 

(video by the Blackfriars)

 

 Lord, I thank You for the grace of the Holy Preaching which constantly saves the souls of so many of Your children, including my own.

 

And today, on this joyful feast, I give thanks to God for more of His 1000+X gifts:  

• word that they are well
• 13 minutes faster 
• rain pouring down
• ripples on the roadside
• umbrella sisters encouragement right before Holy Mass
• librarian's greeting
• homemade hamburgers
• the advent of Hope
• the Pope of my childhood is a Witness to Hope
• she's a natural
• fork wars
• mosquito-less evening (a miracle after the rain!)
• dry bench by the cliff
• Love endures longer than the sand it is written in down by the Bay
• A Mint Chocolate Chip Klondike and bedtime stories
• continuity in my new florilegium already
•  chromis simonis and a didrachmon (Matthew 17:22-27)
• the Papacy endures to this day
• silence and solitude
• peace in my heart at the end of a beautiful day
• Founder's Feast and revelations of Divine Love
• constant guidance of Divine Providence
• The meeting went well and the data project is finished
• quiet waiting days, just living now...

Joining the Gratitude Community at A Holy Experience today and every Monday:

Daybook: 19th Sunday in Ordinary Time

Today is:

the 19^th Sunday in Ordinary Time

the first day of the Assumption Novena

a rainy day, but that’s o.k. because we needed it, and it kept my sister cool during her ½ marathon this morning!

Today I am most grateful for:

the gift of God’s life within me and the promise of a new week just beginning

the example of Saint Peter in today’s Gospel (Matthew14:22-33), especially as explained by the good Abbot in his homily this morning.

Some Plans for the rest of this Week:

meet with my boss on Monday about the data project which I’ve nearly finished (I think).

work on my application requirements

read the Driver’s Manual and prepare to take the written exam for a learner’s permit

engage more fully in the events of my daily life during this time of continuing discernment

limit internet and blog use; no more than 1 (one) blog post each day, according to one of the following

blog post categories:

Daybook (Sunday Night)—Following the general format of this post (see In the Heart of my Home for more Daybooks)

1000+ gifts (Monday)—Joining the Gratitude community at A Holy Experience with a simple list of God’s numberless gifts in my life

Florilegium (any day)—Quotes from readings (May be drawn from one or more of the following: Office of Readings of the day, Mass Readings, Historical Reading, or Spiritual Reading) some short reflection(s)

The Love War—a short update on how it is going

What I am reading right now:

I just finished John XXIII: The Official Biography, by Mario Benigni and Goffredo Zanchi.

Now, prompted by recent reflections on Hope, I turn to George Weigel’s 864 page masterpiece on Bl. Pope John Paul II; Witness to Hope. It seems fitting also, to read the biography of the Pope of my childhood at this time.

Also, until Thursday, at least, I will continue to prepare for the Gospel reading each day with Erasmo Leiva-Merikakis’ Fire of Mercy, Heart of the Word II, which, alas, ends with Matthew 18:33. After that, for spiritual reading I may turn to I Believe in Love, by Father Jean C.J. d’Elbee, which I had started before my visit to the convent in June, but never finished.

I am creating:

a crochet blanket in orangey pink and two shades of blue...may add other colors later.

also thinking about making a cardigan, but am a little bit daunted by this idea at the moment, since I’ve never done anything more complicated than a blanket, in knitting or crochet.

Upcoming Feasts in the Catholic Church:

Monday: Saint Dominic, Founder of the Order of Preachers

Tuesday: Saint Teresa Benedicta of the Cross and Blessed John of Salerno, O.P.

Wednesday: Saint Lawrence

Thursday: Saint Clare

Friday: Saint Jane Frances de Chantal

Saturday: Saint Pontian and Saint Hippolytus (who received an interesting nickname from my youngest sister this morning: “Saint Hippopotomus”).

Prayer intentions:

the Dominican Brothers who will receive the Holy Habit on Monday

 my seminarians and priests

friends serving in the armed forces

travelers, especially my father and Mr. Z

Stephanie and all who need God’s grace, strength, mercy, hope, love

and all who are ever dear to me yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

Today’s Prayer (from the Liturgy for the 19^th Sunday in Ordinary Time):

Almighty and ever-living God,

Your Spirit made us your children,

confident to call you Father.

Increase your Spirit within us

and bring us to our promised inheritance.

Grant this through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,

who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,

one God forever and ever.

Of Dominicans, Dogs, Conspiracies, and Hide-and-Seek

This year, on the day after the memorial of Blessed Jane of Aza, the mother of one whose children would be nicknamed "Hounds of the Lord" (Domini-Canes), Holy Mother Church gives us a reading from Saint Matthew about Jesus' encounter with the Canaanite woman.

Coincidence?

I think not!

More like a conspiracy!

A conspiracy of Love and Mercy?

Now you're talkin'!

Anyway, here is an excerpt from today's Gospel:

Jesus said to the woman, "It is not right to take the food of the children and throw it to the dogs."                    

She said, "Please, Lord, for even the dogs eat the scraps that fall from the table of their masters."

Then Jesus said to her in reply, "O woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish." And her      daughter was cured from that very hour. (Matthew 15:26-28)

True to form, Erasmo Levia-Merikakis has a beautiful theory about this passage:
"Could it be that the Word is playing a sublime game of hide-and-seek with man, that for this once Jesus desires nothing more than to be found out as merciful Savior...? We have every reason to believe that this is the case and that in the present encounter the Lord has had recourse to the strategy of a lover who for a while plays hard to get only so as to reveal himself in the end to none but the most avid heart" (Fire of Mercy, Heart of the Word II, 439).

He's right; Our Lord loves to play hide-and-seek. This is a little bit off-topic (just a little), but I'll never forget the way we played at this--so hard and wildly full of love and joy! when I was in Europe on a tour with my college choir. In every church we went to, one of the first things I always wanted to do was to locate the Tabernacle so that I could really say "Hello, Lord, I've found You here, and I adore You and love You forever!" Or something to that effect.

There were only two churches where He really played "hard to get". The first was in Brussels, Belgium. Unfortunately, I forget the name of it, but it wasn't very big, maybe just one of the local parish churches. But it was beautiful nonetheless. As I entered through a door in the right side of the back, I looked behind the main altar...no Tabernacle. On the left side, all along the wall...no Tabernacle. It was not until I turned back toward the door that I'd come in that I found Him. If only I had not been in such a hurry to look for Him, I would have found Him the instant I crossed over the threshold. The Tabernacle was right there, on the right side, toward the front. And I'd walked right past it! So I apologized and adored, and we had a good laugh at my silliness that day. If only I'd learned...

I will never, ever, forget the other encounter with my Lord. It happened like the first one, only I felt even sillier when He revealed Himself...

We were in Paris, France, the most beautiful city on earth, and it was our last night. Father said the last Mass of our tour for us in the Crypt of Sacre Coeur, and it was absolutely beautiful. We all sang straight from the heart, more than we had for any of our concerts earlier that week (though maybe not more than we had in our impromptu chant session in Rheims Cathedral, but that's another story). After Mass, we had a few minutes to spend in the Basilica before going down to a nearby restaurant for our send-off dinner. I walked around the outer perimeter of the great upper church, which is how I usually found the Tabernacle in larger churches that tended to double as tourist attractions. I think I found the Tabernacle and said some quick prayers, but I was running out of time before dinner and my memory of it is now overshadowed by what happened after I had finished my walk around the perimeter, as I was about to leave. I noticed there were a lot of people praying in the pews toward the middle of the church. I looked up (finally), and there He Was! Eucharistic Adoration! Nobody ever tells me anything. And I'd been wandering around the rest of the church like a lost soul (which maybe I was). It was not I who found You, Lord; it was You who found me!

But time was up; it was dinner time, party time. Much as I loved my choir friends, the people on tour with us, and our amazing tour guides, there was only one thing I could think of all throughout the festivities. And as soon as I was able, yes, before our ascent to the top of the Eiffel Tower by moonlight (or maybe it was cloudy that night), I ran back to Sacre Coure to pay my homage to the King of Kings and renounce the world forever. Or something like that. (Blush). Yes, I was head over heels that night after another wild game of Hide-and-Seek, and if they had let me, I might easily have skipped the Eiffel tower and stayed with my Lord all night. But as it was, I had about 5 or 10 minutes of pure Heaven, adoring His Eucharistic Face in that holy Basilica of the Sacred Heart. Enough to fortify me for the elevator ride up, a while spent gazing at the lights of the city and wondering where the Chapel of the Miraculous Medal was in relation to the Eiffel Tower (I'd been there earlier that day; it was one of my major goals to go there while in Paris), and the walk down the stairs. I should have counted the flights, but it was cold and I was tired and probably still pining for more time at Sacre Coeur.

That's enough memories for one post.

More than enough.

Let's go play Hide-and-seek!

"Of You my heart has spoken, seek His face. It is Your Face, o Lord that I seek, hide not Your Face from me!" (Psalm 27:8-9)

Bl. Jane of Aza again

The Summit Dominicans have put up a post about our "grandmother." And I thought I was being so original this morning! Oh well. I'm looking forward to watching the videos (and seeing how much of the Spanish I can understand) in their post once they load...

in the meantime, praise be to God for my Dominican family!

Bl. Jane of Aza

Today is the memorial of Blessed Jane of Aza. 
Wife of Felix de Guzman.
Mother of Blessed Mannes and Saint Dominic.
So I guess that makes her the grandmother of all Dominicans.


A Three-Fold Prayer to Blessed Jane of Aza:

Blessed Jane of Aza, before Saint Dominic came to birth you dreamed a dream which foretold his mission to set the whole world on fire by the Holy Preaching. Today we, his children, your grandchildren, still dream dreams and long to be what we should be so that the whole world will catch the living flame of God's love~~intercede for us, Abuelita, that our dreams may not be in vain!

Blessed Jane of Aza, in your love for God you raised your sons Dominic and Mannes to be faithful servants and friends of the Lord~~intercede for us, Abuelita, that we may imitate them and speak only of God and to God!

Blessed Jane of Aza, you know the intentions that I am confiding to Jesus through the Blessed Virgin Mary and through your son in a novena before his feast day on the 8th of August. How I pray for my Dominican brothers, your grandsons: the 13 new novices who will receive the habit on the 8th, the 9 novices who will make solemn profession on the 13th, and the 16 novices who will make simple profession on the 15th~~do you also intercede for each one of them, Abuelita, in this time of joyful preparation!

***

Thanks be to God for my Abuelita and for the whole Dominican family!