Love vs. Dualism

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This is an excerpt of how George Weigel explains Father Karol Wojtyla's  philosophy and theology of responsible love:

"In freely giving myself sexually to another as an expression of love, I am being myself in a most radical way, for I am making myself a gift to another in a way that is a profound expression of who I am." (Weigel, George. Witness to Hope, 142)

I was struck by this passage, and I wonder if this holds true for every chaste relationship, including those in which the partners remain celibate?

Every day, I strive to dedicate everything I am, have, and do, completely to God, including my sexuality. It is all God's initiative, though.

God not only invites me to give myself freely to Him in the totality of my being (which is itself His gift to me), but He also gives me the grace to do so. In this give and take between the Lord and my soul, I really do discover who I am, at the core of my being.

I once thought that, as someone who hopes to be a nun, sexual ethics and the Theology of the Body would not be important to me.

Now, I am just beginning to realize that I just might have been wrong about this!

In fact, I have been fighting dualistic tendencies of thinking all my life (holy father, Saint Dominic, pray for me!), and here is an answer to them:

I believe that I am a body-mind-soul unity, made for the praise of God's glory in the totality of my being. I cannot just choose to cast off my body, abuse it, or ignore it (as if it would ever let me anyway) without losing my humanity and betraying a huge part of God's will for my life.

In fact, all this talk of me and my body, my body as an 'it' is just feeding into the dualistic mentality. I am so bad at using language!

I am my body, and my body is me. But, unlike the materialists, I believe in the existence of an immortal soul as well. A few  years ago, on a Philosophy exam in college, I did a little bit of speculation as to what the soul is/does:

"As a Catholic, I believe that the soul does exist, and that it is the source of my fundamental identity. It is the part of me that shall never die, even though the body and my brain will one day decay. (Remember o man that you are dust and unto dust you shall return!)...The soul is that which unites the body and the mind, thereby making me a single entity...I am my soul, my soul is me. We cannot be separated or distinguished from one another." (from my practice notes, which I saved) 

At any rate, this book...

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...is now on my reading list (though it is doubtful that I will get to it anytime soon, as I still have 800+ pages to go in Witness to Hope! and other books in line ahead of it).

Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, an amateur theologian
(and even worse philosopher!)
struggling to grasp the truth of my existence
in light of Your Love and Your Truth!

My Jesus, I love You.
My Jesus, I trust in You.
My Jesus, I give myself entirely to You!

Bread

Monday evening, I try to help my mother in the kitchen, preparing dinner for family and visiting grandparents.

Learning to kneed bread, the dough is all sticky and unmanageable to my untrained hands until my mother comes and helps me add more flour to tame it.

And I think, and pray...

"Man does not live on bread alone...Give us this day our daily bread...

what's the origin for the English word 'lady'? Didn't the professor of my Medieval Literature class tell us that it originated from words meaning 'bread maker', while 'lord' meant 'bread protector'? 


...and it does not take much imagination to spin off from this etymology onto a reflection on how the Bread of the World was born of my Lady Mary and how my Lord Jesus is not just my 'bread protector' but my actual daily Bread, in the Sacrament of the Altar, and in the Word!"

* This is a very weak analogy, I know (Mary did not make Jesus herself--by her consent He was formed in her womb by the grace of the Holy Spirit) but somehow reflecting on analogies, weak as they are, can be helpful to me anyway.

* * * * *
and isn't this all just my life? Things go awry so easily (like gluten-y sticky bread dough tying my hands together), I get myself all confused and lost and I just need a little bit of help from others to get un-stuck and back on the right track. Today I am going back to the doctor's office for the test (part of my application requirements) that was originally scheduled for yesterday.

and all I can say right now is, "My Jesus, I trust in You!" But that is enough.

The Assumption of the Blessed Virgin

Some reflections from my journal, written on August 15, 2009 :

“Nothing can ever separate us from His love.” Romans 8:38

...and so she who loved most purely and perfectly was drawn into Heaven by Love, for her Son would not let her be separated from Him by death.

Rejoice, all you saints and souls of the just!

Rejoice, all you orphans, sinners, and wanderers, you lost children!

Rejoice, heavens!

Rejoice, earth!

and bless the Lord our God this day, for He has taken His Mother from earth to Heaven.

Jesus saved us by His sacrifice on the Cross,

and continually sanctifies us and intercedes for us by His sacrifice on the Altar.

Mary, likewise, being our Mother inasmuch as we are members of Christ’s Body, the Church, also prays to God on our behalf, and graciously bestows all of God’s good gifts on us.

But this day, she holds also the promise of immortality, that will be given at the end of time.

We shall then be like her, and like her Son, and we shall see them as they are. 

*   *   *   *   * 

This day, I rejoice in the mystery of the Assumption of my Blessed Mother into Heaven, and thank God for his superabundant gifts, given through her:

1000+X+46, and still counting...

-mini family reunion :: red hair and freckles :: Aunt Ellie got there first! :: running barefoot :: 

"Around the World" on the basketball court with cousins :: His victories over my fear :: 

F. behind me all the way up :: laughing crazy happiness :: Hallelu! Glory all for the Blessed Trinity :: 

-Gladiolis garden :: kitchen trash duty :: Mary of the Pine Statue :: being with family 

:: finally learning to crochet in the round :: Grandma's "hat"

-today's graces, just beginning :: lessons about oversleeping :: time enough for Office of Readings :: 

candles lit around her statue :: a whole group of girls celebrating with us :: red-headed Thurifer :: 

Abbot's Homily :: greetings in Spanish from my former teacher on the way home from Mass :: rain falling ::
Dominican Brothers making simple vows 

 -today's is the next-to-last doctor's visit before I can send my application to the convent!

afternoon update:
-flooding roads :: lost wanderings in the halls :: misunderstanding :: the embarrassment of rescheduling ::

tomorrow we will try again :: mother's calm acceptance and forgiveness of my carelessness ::

errand of love for a neighbor on the way home :: quiet time alone to think about God's grace :: 

precious memories of June :: the patience of my Novice Mistress is still a light in my life, even out here

-Coming home to this beautiful post by Ann Voscamp :: Wondering if I haven't just had a parallel experience to that of her Farm Boy, though I've not broken any windows, praise be to God!

-I don't have the all answers :: but God knows :: and the ponderings go on...

and always:

  -weakness, uselessness, despair break out daily, showing me how much I need God in my life

:: but the storms are always countered with His gentleness and Love :: and this life is not the only life ::
I have a family waiting for me and praying for me in Heaven!

 

*  *  *  *  *

Blessed be God forever, for ages unending, amen!

Joining the Gratitude Community at A Holy Experience today and every Monday:

 

Reflection on Matthew 13:44

The following is a reflection on the first verse of the Gospel reading for the 17th Sunday in Ordinary Time (Matthew 13:44-52)...if only I had more time, I would work through the whole thing, but it is too much to take in all at once. Oh, the riches of the Word of God!

The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure buried in a field,

Ομοια εστιν η βασιελια των ουρανων θησαυρω κεκρυμμενω εν τω αγρω,
 
which a person finds and hides again,

ον ευρων ανθροπος εκρυψεν,

and out of joy goes

και απο της χαρας αυτου υπαγει

and sells all that he has and buys that field.

και πωλει παντα οσα εχει και αγοπαξει τον αγρον εκεινον.

The first half of the verse, “The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure buried in a field, which a person finds and hides again,” reminds me of the Blessed Virgin Mary. In Luke 2:19, we are told that “Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart.” And again, at Luke 2:51, it says that Jesus “went down with them and came to Nazareth and was obedient to them; and his mother kept all these things in her heart."

At the moment of the Incarnation, Mary was fully initiated into the mysteries of the Kingdom in a way that no other human being ever was or will be again. The Kingdom of God literally dwelled within her. The first thirty years of Jesus’ life, were, for the most part, hidden ones.  The Word was buried in the field of Mary’s womb. She knew He was there and rejoiced at His coming and His presence, but kept the revelation a secret from all people except a few others whom God had designated as his handmaidens, heralds, and guardians—Elizabeth, Simeon, Anna, and John the Baptist, and of course, Joseph the Just.

*****

In his reflections on this first half of the verse, Erasmo Leiva Merikakis writes:

“We may say, in fact, that the Parable of the Hidden Treasure is a metonomy for the Incarnation itself: the greatest of treasures—the Father’s Beloved—became Emmanuel and was hidden by the Holy Spirit within the good earth of the Virgin’s womb.” (Fire of Mercy, Heart of the Word II, 294)

“the treasure in question is the mystery of God giving himself to us in Christ. This treasure already lies closer to the world’s heart than we ourselves can ever be, worldlings though we are.” (Fire of Mercy, Heart of the Word II, 294)

*****

The discovery of the kingdom of heaven leads to abounding joy—της χαρας. A joy so great, in fact, that nothing can diminish it or take it away. Yet it takes everything we have...we are compelled to “sell” all that we have, holding nothing back. Integrity is key here. To purchase the field we must not only sell all that we have, but we must go through these transactions honestly, humbly, virtuously, lovingly—the kingdom demands nothing less; the kingdom inspires only this. We cannot engage in falsity, trickery, or prostitution of our goods in order to gain access to the field. If we do, the kingdom will be lost to us. Only love holds the key to the joyous stripping of self and careless self forgetfulness. This self-emptying is best expressed by the Greek word, κενοσις, which Paul uses in his letter to the Philippians as he speaks of Christ: « εαθτον εκενωσεν»  “emptied himself” (Philippians 2:7) Obedience is another key—just as Jesus was obedient to the Father (and to Mary and Joseph, see above/Luke 2:51), so also must we be obedient to God and to those with legitimate authority over us. And this loving obedience, in turn, will lead to freedom, joy, and the in-breaking of God’s kingdom among us...Maranatha, Lord Jesus, quickly come!

3 Quotes from Fire of Mercy, Heart of the Word

“The powerful deeds (dunameis) of incarnate Wisdom (sophia) among us humans ought to result, not so much in transitory awe and admiration, but in a permanent change of life (metanoia).” (Merikakis, 674)

metanoia...conversion of life...conversatio morum...St. Benedict, pray for us, as God picks us up from our falls and we strive to begin again with the help of his grace...not only every morning, but at every moment of every day.

  “The act of faith here expected by Christ is the positive response to his question: ‘Will you allow the mighty power you have seen me work in your midst now to penetrate your very being, to become the sole source of your new life?’” (Merikakis, 679)

Lord, you are my life. My everything. Like Thomas, I have seen. Like Thomas, I believe. Without you, there is no life. You are my life.

“Jesus, the incarnate Word, the Light of the Father, chose to make Capharnaum his home. The light had pity on those who were ‘sitting in the shadow of death’, cowering miserably as in a dank cave. Unlike Plato’s sun, which always shines indifferently on the world and must be gone out to by those needing its rays, Christ the Light comes personally to those too lost to move themselves out in search. They see him while they are still sitting hopelessly in the dark, because he takes the initiative and penetrates their condition of death.”  (Merikakis, 680)

 Eucharisteo...I give you thanks, my Lord and my God, for your gift of yourself in the Eucharist. You come to me daily, to give me life and strength. Thank you.