Veriditas--The Greeness and Beauty of God's Garden

Veriditas is the Latin term for Green-ness - alive-ness - in the writings of Hildegard of Bingen. And the content of this post fits this category, I think.

Throughout the last few years, I have been saying the Office of Readings on a semi-regular basis, to the extent that some passages from the readings, or even whole readings, have become as dear friends to me as Holy Mother Church sets them before my eyes each year. Today’s second reading for the Feast of Saint Lawrence contains one such passage:

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“I tell you again and again, my brethren, that in the Lord’s garden are to be found not only the roses of his martyrs.

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       In it there are the lilies of the virgins, 

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the ivy of the wedded couples, 

                                          and the violets of widows.

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On no account may any class of people despair, thinking that God has not called them.”

–From a Sermon on Saint Lawrence, by Saint Augustine of Hippo. (Second Reading from The Office of Readings)

 God has called all to live in His Garden, to the praise of His Glory! May we never cease to bless and praise His Holy Name!

Blessed Pope John Paul II on the virtue of Hope

“Hope is not empty optimism springing from a naive confidence that the future will necessarily be better than the past. Hope and trust are the premise of responsible activity and are nurtured in that inner sanctuary of conscience where “man is alone with God” and thus perceives that he is not alone amid the enigmas of existence, for he is surrounded by the love of the Creator.”

-Blessed Pope John Paul II, from his “Address to the Fiftieth General Assembly of the United Nations Organization,” 16. (Quoted in Weigel, George. Witness to Hope: The Biography of Pope John Paul II, 14)

What a beautiful, helpful definition of Hope! Hope is not naive: it is responsible. And it is based on a relationship with God. If we have Hope, it is only because of God’s initiative. God’s free gift of Himself is our wellspring of Hope.

The Shield of Hope

This is the Shield of Hope.

It has a Story and Symbolism.

Story Teaser (see below for the end):

Yesterday I set a goal for myself. But sometimes goals can be difficult to accomplish...did I make it? Read on to find out!

The Shield's Symbolism:

The Cross at the center represents the Dominican Order, to which I am an aspirant. My vocation is a great source of hope to me. Every time I listen to one of the Friars Preachers giving a homily or lecture, or to Word to Life, they help me unlock the mystery of God's Love. I am not perfect, but I am not one of the Perfectae, either! Praise be to God, I have been spared from heresy, only by grace.

The Raven with Bread in the bottom left quadrant represents the Benedictine Order, to which I will always be deeply indebted. I spent my childhood near a Benedictine Monastery and Highschool, which I later attended, and obtained my Bachelor's degree in Theology from a Benedictine College as well. So the Benedictine way of life and spirituality has shaped my life thus far, in ways that I am still discovering. And the monks that I have known have been a great source of inspiration, encouragement, and hope for me in my daily life.


The Lily in the bottom right quadrant represents purity. After the virtues of Love, Faith, Hope, and Humility, Purity is the virtue I most prize and strive to practice in my life. Jesus says in the beatitudes, "Blessed are the Pure of Heart, for they shall see God." And isn't this what we all hope for, above all else? To see God!

The Sun and Cloud at the top left quadrant represents Christ Our Light (Thanks be to God!) who shines through-nay, shines over-our clouds of darkness and despair if only we have the eyes to see. As Saint Paul says, nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus! (Romans 8:35-39)

And what about the blank top right quadrant? It is not empty. It is filled with God's Providence. Lord, I am here, I exist only to do Your will. All I ask for are Your Love and Your Grace that I may always echo Your Blessed Mother's "Fiat! May it be done to me according to Thy Word!" (Luke 1:38)

With this shield, I will continue in the battle for the King of Kings: for Love, in Hope.

*  *  *  *  *

The Story:

Yesterday I set a *very important* goal for myself: I had had enough of my pathetic habit of waiting around, and was determined to speak to a friend about a very important but delicate question concerning my application to the convent. By dinnertime, I had not yet seen her, nor called her on the phone. My mother suggested that I email my friend with the question...To my joy, however, I did end up seeing her soon afterward. To my dismay, I never had a chance to ask her, since there were too many people around, and there was never a convenient break in the conversation.

So, frustrated with myself and a little bit worn out, I left her presence practically in tears. It was a Love War battle. Upon arriving home, I found that I was providentially home alone. I love my family dearly, but sometimes I just need space. Alone, I was able to vent my frustration and fatigue in a relatively peaceful manner. Instead of bursting out angrily at myself as I so often have in the past, I managed to sing the tension away with some of my favorite hymns and antiphons, especially the ones I learned from the Benedictines at college. And I emptied the dishwasher, before heading downstairs to say Vespers, all of which made me feel better, too. After Vespers, I finally emailed my friend with the question, as my mother had suggested. A sad and sorry last resort it was, but it was better than nothing, and I did achieve my goal, more or less.

And then I designed Hope's Coat of Arms. Yes, that meant I was on the computer in the evening far later than I ever should be, but sometimes I guess I just have to fight one battle at a time, no? And Providentially, there is always tomorrow to start over and try again, no?

Praise be to God for Hope, and for the successful conclusion to another Love War Battle!

To Turn and Become Like Children

Matthew 18:1-5,10, 12-14 is the Gospel for today. And these are my florilegium notes:

"[Jesus] said, 'Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.'" (Mt 18:2)

What does it mean to be child-like? Innocence, trust, and simplicity are some of the characteristics that come to mind...

Bl. Pope John Paul II and Maria Bambina

Aside from the Child Jesus, Tradition has handed down devotion to the Child Mary (Maria Bambina).  Some years ago, a good friend of mine taught me how to pray the Infancy Chaplet and meditate on the virtues of this Infant Mother of ours. Among the countless virtues Mary practiced throughout her life, twelve have been singled out as having been practiced perfectly from her childhood in particular:

*  Innocence  *  Simplicity  *  Humility  *  Obedience  *
*  Patience  *  Love of God  *  Love of Neighbor  *  Detachment *  *  Purity  *  Silence  *  Meekness  *  Modesty  *

With such virtues, the Kingdom of Heaven is taken by storm. For how can God resist a soul endowed with even just one attribute of His Son, the Child Jesus or Mary, His virginal Daughter, Mother, and Spouse?

I am setting this goal for my daily life: to say the Infancy Chaplet every day from now until September 8th, the Nativity of Mary.

Lord, I trust in Your Love.
I am not afraid because You are with me.
All I ask is that You help me to grow in Love 
and in whatever other particular virtues of childhood You desire to see in me.
Lord, I surrender all to You,
for the praise of Your Glory forever!
Amen.

A Day of Joy for Dominic's Children

This is the second post for today...but it's the Founder's Feast and thirteen of my brothers in the Order of Preachers have just received the Holy Habit this morning!

Here they are, in all their glory, along with the sixteen brothers who started out last year:

from Order of Preachers Vocations

Don't ask me to name them all--I can't name more than two of them for sure, but they are all in my prayers everyday.

When last year's class received the Holy Habit, I wrote all their names down on pieces of paper and drew one to pray for in particular, as a sort of representative of the group for me. At that time, the Holy Spirit matched me with Brother Thomas Davenport (I believe he's the seventh from the left in the back row).

Naturally, this year, I went through the 'lottery' again and was assigned to Christopher (in the back row, 8th from the right) He probably has a new name already but I don't know it yet.

Anyway, just looking at this picture makes me so happy! I have never met a single one of these men, but I hope to someday.

I love my Dominican family!

God bless my Dominican family!

Giving thanks on the Feast of Saint Dominic

O Lumen Ecclesiae

Doctor veritatis

Rosa patientiae

Ebur castitatis

Aquam sapientiae

propinasti gratis

Praedicator gratiae

nos junge beatis.

-Traditional Dominican Hymn to Saint Dominic 

(video by the Blackfriars)

 

 Lord, I thank You for the grace of the Holy Preaching which constantly saves the souls of so many of Your children, including my own.

 

And today, on this joyful feast, I give thanks to God for more of His 1000+X gifts:  

• word that they are well
• 13 minutes faster 
• rain pouring down
• ripples on the roadside
• umbrella sisters encouragement right before Holy Mass
• librarian's greeting
• homemade hamburgers
• the advent of Hope
• the Pope of my childhood is a Witness to Hope
• she's a natural
• fork wars
• mosquito-less evening (a miracle after the rain!)
• dry bench by the cliff
• Love endures longer than the sand it is written in down by the Bay
• A Mint Chocolate Chip Klondike and bedtime stories
• continuity in my new florilegium already
•  chromis simonis and a didrachmon (Matthew 17:22-27)
• the Papacy endures to this day
• silence and solitude
• peace in my heart at the end of a beautiful day
• Founder's Feast and revelations of Divine Love
• constant guidance of Divine Providence
• The meeting went well and the data project is finished
• quiet waiting days, just living now...

Joining the Gratitude Community at A Holy Experience today and every Monday:

Daybook: 19th Sunday in Ordinary Time

Today is:

the 19^th Sunday in Ordinary Time

the first day of the Assumption Novena

a rainy day, but that’s o.k. because we needed it, and it kept my sister cool during her ½ marathon this morning!

Today I am most grateful for:

the gift of God’s life within me and the promise of a new week just beginning

the example of Saint Peter in today’s Gospel (Matthew14:22-33), especially as explained by the good Abbot in his homily this morning.

Some Plans for the rest of this Week:

meet with my boss on Monday about the data project which I’ve nearly finished (I think).

work on my application requirements

read the Driver’s Manual and prepare to take the written exam for a learner’s permit

engage more fully in the events of my daily life during this time of continuing discernment

limit internet and blog use; no more than 1 (one) blog post each day, according to one of the following

blog post categories:

Daybook (Sunday Night)—Following the general format of this post (see In the Heart of my Home for more Daybooks)

1000+ gifts (Monday)—Joining the Gratitude community at A Holy Experience with a simple list of God’s numberless gifts in my life

Florilegium (any day)—Quotes from readings (May be drawn from one or more of the following: Office of Readings of the day, Mass Readings, Historical Reading, or Spiritual Reading) some short reflection(s)

The Love War—a short update on how it is going

What I am reading right now:

I just finished John XXIII: The Official Biography, by Mario Benigni and Goffredo Zanchi.

Now, prompted by recent reflections on Hope, I turn to George Weigel’s 864 page masterpiece on Bl. Pope John Paul II; Witness to Hope. It seems fitting also, to read the biography of the Pope of my childhood at this time.

Also, until Thursday, at least, I will continue to prepare for the Gospel reading each day with Erasmo Leiva-Merikakis’ Fire of Mercy, Heart of the Word II, which, alas, ends with Matthew 18:33. After that, for spiritual reading I may turn to I Believe in Love, by Father Jean C.J. d’Elbee, which I had started before my visit to the convent in June, but never finished.

I am creating:

a crochet blanket in orangey pink and two shades of blue...may add other colors later.

also thinking about making a cardigan, but am a little bit daunted by this idea at the moment, since I’ve never done anything more complicated than a blanket, in knitting or crochet.

Upcoming Feasts in the Catholic Church:

Monday: Saint Dominic, Founder of the Order of Preachers

Tuesday: Saint Teresa Benedicta of the Cross and Blessed John of Salerno, O.P.

Wednesday: Saint Lawrence

Thursday: Saint Clare

Friday: Saint Jane Frances de Chantal

Saturday: Saint Pontian and Saint Hippolytus (who received an interesting nickname from my youngest sister this morning: “Saint Hippopotomus”).

Prayer intentions:

the Dominican Brothers who will receive the Holy Habit on Monday

 my seminarians and priests

friends serving in the armed forces

travelers, especially my father and Mr. Z

Stephanie and all who need God’s grace, strength, mercy, hope, love

and all who are ever dear to me yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

Today’s Prayer (from the Liturgy for the 19^th Sunday in Ordinary Time):

Almighty and ever-living God,

Your Spirit made us your children,

confident to call you Father.

Increase your Spirit within us

and bring us to our promised inheritance.

Grant this through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,

who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,

one God forever and ever.

Wick

To clarify my use of the word "Wick" in earlier posts...

I enjoy listening to music from Musicals, one of which is The Secret Garden. The song "Wick" is one of my particular favorites (though I also really like "Winter's on the Wing," and "The Girl I Mean to Be.")

Here is the opening dialogue and the first few lines of "Wick" and commentary on their relevance to my life (the first bit of dialogue is typed from memory, but after that I found the lyrics here:

Dickon (cheerfully): Hey-o, Hullo there Mary!      

Mary (with much less fervor): Hey-o, hullo there.

Dickon: and what's gotten you in such a bad temper?

Mary: The garden is dead, Dicken. It's the most forgotten place I've ever seen...

Dickon: Did you take a close look at anythin'?  

The strongest roses fair thrive on bein' neglected, 
if the soil is rich enough...                                                       (i.e. hold on to your hope, don't give up!)

Mary: You mean it might be alive? But how can you tell?

Dickon: Oh, I can tell if a thing is Wick!

Mary: Wick? I've heard Ben say Wick...

***

DICKON:
When a thing is wick, it has a life about it.
Now, maybe not a life like you and me.
But somewhere there's a single streak of green inside it.                   (The Divine Life, hidden within me)
Come, and let me show you what I mean.

When a think is wick, it has a light around it.
Maybe not a light that you can see.
But hiding down below a spark's asleep inside it,                    
Waiting for the right time to be seen.

You clear away the dead parts,                                  
So the tender buds can form,
Loosen up the earth and
Let the roots get warm,
Let the roots get warm.

.....

MARY:
When a thing is wick,
And someone cares about it,
And comes to work each day, like you and me,
Will it grow?

DICKON:
It will!

MARY:
Then have no doubt about it,
We'll have the grandest garden ever seen!!
[Spoken]
Oh, Dickon, I want it all to be wick! Would you          (this is one of my favorite parts: I often imagine
come and look at it with me?                                         myself as Mary, asking God/Dickon to work
                                                                                     on the garden of my life with me, to make it wick.)
DICKON:
I'll come every day, rain or shine if you want me.           (I could not ask for a more enthusiastic
All that garden needs is for us to come wake it up!           response to my prayer! Dickon's
                                                                                             dedication--God's love and promise
                                                                                              of support--gives me much hope!)
MARY:
But, Dickon, what if we save the garden, then Uncle
Archie takes it back, or Colin wants it?

DICKON:
Ay, what a miracle that would be, gettin' a poor
crippled boy out to see his mother's garden!

[Sung]
MARY and DICKON:
You give a living thing                                      (Just give yourself a chance! Don't be tearing yourself
A little chance to grow,                                      apart all the time. You are wick, and you will grow!)
That's how you will know 
If she is wick, she'll grow.
So grow to greet the morning,                    (Morning daylight...Hope.)
Leave the ground below.
When a thing is wick
It has a will to grow and grow.              (I choose life, I have a will to grow, and God wills this for me, too!)

MARY:
Come a mild day, come a warm rain,                       (Gentleness...the Gentleness of the Divine Lover always
Come a snowdrop, a-comin' up!                                breaks through the tension after a storm...
Come a lily, come a lilac!                                            and I am able to bloom for Him again)
Come to call, calling all the rest to come!

MARY and DICKON:
Calling all the rest to come!
Calling all the world to come!                                 (Come and praise the Name of the Lord!)

DICKON:
Oh, somewhere there's single streak of green below,

MARY and DICKON:
And all through the darkest nighttime,                                 (And all through the wildest storms...hang on.)
It's waiting for the right time.                                                 (Everything happens in God's good time)
When a thing is wick, it will grow!                                           (I will live and grow in God's grace!)
 
***

So there you have it...why I prefer the word "Wick" to "alive"--it carries a reference to this song, which has been a vehicle of God's gentle love so many times, especially at the end of wild storms.

Praise be to God for the gift of my life, now and evermore!

Witnesses to Hope and Laugh of the Day

While skimming through some comments on A Holy Experience, I found a note from Sr. Dorcee.

She has a blog called Witnesses to Hope, on which I found talks about Hope! Perfect timing, no? I just finished listening to the first one, and it was absolutely beautiful. I will definitely be going back for more!

Sr. Dorcee is also the blogger behind Catholic Kids Say the Dearest Things and Sr. Mary Z.'s Wittizizims


These are definitely going in my bloglist!

It's amazing how many wonderful people God has placed in my life recently. Divine Providence, anyone? Or is it just all a conspiracy?

Anyway, for the laugh of the day, follow this link to Catholic Kids Say the Dearest Things!

Thanks be to God for  Hope!

The Transfiguration

Today is the feast of the Transfiguration.

"We possess the prophetic message that is altogether reliable. 

You will do well to be attentive to it, 

as to a lamp shining in a dark place, 

until day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts." 

                          -2 Peter 1:19

Come, Lord Jesus,
Come, radiant splendor of God's grace
Come, image of the Father's glory
Scatter the darkness of our hearts; Fill our hearts with light
Quench the cold fire of hatred and doubt; Set our hearts ablaze with love and hope
Take us from ourselves, empty us of worldly things; Fill our hearts with Yourself
We desire nothing else but You.

Of Mudpies and Temper Tantrums

Yes, this is going to be a messy post...

We were conversing on the topic of making mudpies as children. Littlest sister said that she had actually eaten one once, at least one small bite anyway.

Eldest sister replied, "Well, it's good for your immune system; it helps build resistance," and explained that germs in small quantities actually make our body's defense system stronger and more prepared.

Immediately, I wondered if the same is not true of the spiritual life as well.

These storms of mine, Desperada going wild, are they making me stronger? It is true that I have not died from the strain of warding off her attacks yet. And it is always such a joy when Hope gains the upper hand and I breathe free once more.

Yes, much as I long to be rid of Desperada once and for all (I waste so much time and energy fighting her!), after every attack, might I be a little bit stronger?

Is my eyesight ever clearer after tears pour out?

I give thanks for my life more fiercely than I had despaired of it not two minutes before.

The sun shines again, the good Lord coaxes a smile out of me and I'm grinning like a fool before I know what hit me.

Eldest sister is right. And Hope?... 

Hope is wick!

It's a Girl!

And her name is Hope.

God has set her within me to mark me out as belonging to Him Alone.

Her nemisis, Desperada, has put up some awful fights lately, but praise be to God, Hope is still wick.

Alive within me, I pray that she will grow stronger every day by the grace of God.

Together with Hope, I continue to fight the Love War. Not systematically, but consciously.

I was praying with Ephesians 1:18a-b last night at Adoration, and these words, these beautiful words, just filled my heart and soul with grace...

 "May the eyes of [your] hearts be enlightened,

that you may know what is the hope that belongs to his call."

It was then that I knew... her name is Hope.

And she lives in my heart.  

And God calls. 

How will I respond? 

Another Beautiful Day!

Today is:

1-The feast of the Dedication of Mary Major in Rome.

Mary Major--From Church Photos

  

2-The First Friday in August.

Adoration at Mary Major -- From Church Photos

 Double Adoration Day: I will go for my usual hour of guard from 1:30-2:30 in the afternoon and whatever evening shift my mother needs me to take.

 Rosary Day: Before Mass, I meditated on the Joyful Mysteries. Around noon, I hope to do the Luminious Mysteries. The Sorrowful Mysteries will be prayed over at my afternoon shift, and God willing, in the evening, I will meditate on the Glorious Mysteries.

3-And also...

Word to Life Day: the Friars will be discussing the upcoming Mass readings for Sunday on Word To Life from noon until one o'clock this afternoon....but I'll have to listen later, because I don't have access to Sirius Radio.

The first day I've been joined by my littlest sister in my morning water-the-garden with water from the dehumidifier frolic. She didn't quite make it down to my 'cell' in time to join me for Office of Readings and Lauds, but maybe tomorrow? All of a sudden, she is rather enthusiastic about joining me for prayer, which is wonderful!

The last day before I begin the Novena in preparation for the feast of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin.

And various other things...none of which are really blog-worthy.

Some beautiful quotes from Saint John Vianney

Saint John Vianney, the Cure de Ars, is the patron saint of priests.


Here are some quotes from the Catechetical Instructions by Saint John Mary Vianney ( the Second Reading from today's Office of Readings)

"If you pray and love, that is where a man's happiness lies."

"My little children, your hearts are small, but prayer stretches them and makes them capable of loving God."

"I often think that whenever we come to adore the Lord, we would receive everything we ask for, if we would ask with living faith and with a pure heart."

Saint John Vianney, pray for our priests that they may pray, love, and adore the Lord!

Saint John Vianney and Catherine of Siena on Prayer, Fish, and the Blessed Sacrament

  "Some men immerse themselves as deeply in prayer as fish in water, because they give themselves totally to God."

 So writes Saint John Mary Vianney in his Catechetical Instructions (Second Reading from today's Office of Readings)

This reminds me of something Saint Catherine of Siena wrote in her Dialogue; this is not it, but I found this one first...

"See, dearest daughter, in what an excellent state is the soul who receives, as she should, this Bread of Life, this Food of the Angels. "By receiving this Sacrament she dwells in Me and I in her, as the fish in the sea, and the sea in the fish -- thus do I dwell in the soul, and the soul in Me -- the Sea Pacific." (A Treatise of Prayer, no. 26)


This is it:

"since the soul seems, in such communion, sweetly to bind herself fast within herself and with God, and knows better His truth, inasmuch as the soul is then in God, and God in the soul, as the fish is in the sea, and the sea in the fish, she desired the arrival of the morning (for the morrow was a feast of Mary) in order to hear Mass." (A Treatise of Divine Providence, no. 2)

When we receive the Most Precious Body and Blood of Christ in the Blessed Sacrament, we are like fish in the sea.

The sea is the life of the fish;
God is the life of the soul.


The sea flows in and through the fish, as well as all around it;
God's life flows in and through us, as well as all around us.


The fish cannot exhaust the ocean;
we cannot exhaust God's grace and life in us..

Every fish is unique
and uniquely loved are we by God.

Saint John Vianney, Saint Catherine of Siena, pray for us, that we may learn to live fully immersed in God's grace!

Wee Sing Bible Songs...

...Probably one of the best tapes I ever owned as a child.

And for reasons I can't explain, I just got His Banner over Me is Love running through my head, along with an image of my head hidden under the folds of Jesus' mantle. I guess it means that I belong to Him or something ;)

(Actually, all this was probably it was triggered by the fact that I was looking at vocation stories of Dominican Contemplative Nuns in Vocation in Black and White again. It never fails!)

So anyway, I had to find a version of the song on Youtube. Not WeeSing--Cedarmont Kids, but same idea anyway.

Here it is:

And then I listened to some sample clips from Wee Sing Bible Songs itself, because the tape is long gone. :(

If I had an Amazon wishlist, this tape would probably be on it. But I'm 'too old' and so are all my siblings, even the youngest.  :(

What's that you ask me?

No, I never really grew up!

Or did you mean to say, "We're never really too old for Bible Songs!"

I'm glad you agree! :)

Of Dominicans, Dogs, Conspiracies, and Hide-and-Seek

This year, on the day after the memorial of Blessed Jane of Aza, the mother of one whose children would be nicknamed "Hounds of the Lord" (Domini-Canes), Holy Mother Church gives us a reading from Saint Matthew about Jesus' encounter with the Canaanite woman.

Coincidence?

I think not!

More like a conspiracy!

A conspiracy of Love and Mercy?

Now you're talkin'!

Anyway, here is an excerpt from today's Gospel:

Jesus said to the woman, "It is not right to take the food of the children and throw it to the dogs."                    

She said, "Please, Lord, for even the dogs eat the scraps that fall from the table of their masters."

Then Jesus said to her in reply, "O woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish." And her      daughter was cured from that very hour. (Matthew 15:26-28)

True to form, Erasmo Levia-Merikakis has a beautiful theory about this passage:
"Could it be that the Word is playing a sublime game of hide-and-seek with man, that for this once Jesus desires nothing more than to be found out as merciful Savior...? We have every reason to believe that this is the case and that in the present encounter the Lord has had recourse to the strategy of a lover who for a while plays hard to get only so as to reveal himself in the end to none but the most avid heart" (Fire of Mercy, Heart of the Word II, 439).

He's right; Our Lord loves to play hide-and-seek. This is a little bit off-topic (just a little), but I'll never forget the way we played at this--so hard and wildly full of love and joy! when I was in Europe on a tour with my college choir. In every church we went to, one of the first things I always wanted to do was to locate the Tabernacle so that I could really say "Hello, Lord, I've found You here, and I adore You and love You forever!" Or something to that effect.

There were only two churches where He really played "hard to get". The first was in Brussels, Belgium. Unfortunately, I forget the name of it, but it wasn't very big, maybe just one of the local parish churches. But it was beautiful nonetheless. As I entered through a door in the right side of the back, I looked behind the main altar...no Tabernacle. On the left side, all along the wall...no Tabernacle. It was not until I turned back toward the door that I'd come in that I found Him. If only I had not been in such a hurry to look for Him, I would have found Him the instant I crossed over the threshold. The Tabernacle was right there, on the right side, toward the front. And I'd walked right past it! So I apologized and adored, and we had a good laugh at my silliness that day. If only I'd learned...

I will never, ever, forget the other encounter with my Lord. It happened like the first one, only I felt even sillier when He revealed Himself...

We were in Paris, France, the most beautiful city on earth, and it was our last night. Father said the last Mass of our tour for us in the Crypt of Sacre Coeur, and it was absolutely beautiful. We all sang straight from the heart, more than we had for any of our concerts earlier that week (though maybe not more than we had in our impromptu chant session in Rheims Cathedral, but that's another story). After Mass, we had a few minutes to spend in the Basilica before going down to a nearby restaurant for our send-off dinner. I walked around the outer perimeter of the great upper church, which is how I usually found the Tabernacle in larger churches that tended to double as tourist attractions. I think I found the Tabernacle and said some quick prayers, but I was running out of time before dinner and my memory of it is now overshadowed by what happened after I had finished my walk around the perimeter, as I was about to leave. I noticed there were a lot of people praying in the pews toward the middle of the church. I looked up (finally), and there He Was! Eucharistic Adoration! Nobody ever tells me anything. And I'd been wandering around the rest of the church like a lost soul (which maybe I was). It was not I who found You, Lord; it was You who found me!

But time was up; it was dinner time, party time. Much as I loved my choir friends, the people on tour with us, and our amazing tour guides, there was only one thing I could think of all throughout the festivities. And as soon as I was able, yes, before our ascent to the top of the Eiffel Tower by moonlight (or maybe it was cloudy that night), I ran back to Sacre Coure to pay my homage to the King of Kings and renounce the world forever. Or something like that. (Blush). Yes, I was head over heels that night after another wild game of Hide-and-Seek, and if they had let me, I might easily have skipped the Eiffel tower and stayed with my Lord all night. But as it was, I had about 5 or 10 minutes of pure Heaven, adoring His Eucharistic Face in that holy Basilica of the Sacred Heart. Enough to fortify me for the elevator ride up, a while spent gazing at the lights of the city and wondering where the Chapel of the Miraculous Medal was in relation to the Eiffel Tower (I'd been there earlier that day; it was one of my major goals to go there while in Paris), and the walk down the stairs. I should have counted the flights, but it was cold and I was tired and probably still pining for more time at Sacre Coeur.

That's enough memories for one post.

More than enough.

Let's go play Hide-and-seek!

"Of You my heart has spoken, seek His face. It is Your Face, o Lord that I seek, hide not Your Face from me!" (Psalm 27:8-9)

Bl. Jane of Aza again

The Summit Dominicans have put up a post about our "grandmother." And I thought I was being so original this morning! Oh well. I'm looking forward to watching the videos (and seeing how much of the Spanish I can understand) in their post once they load...

in the meantime, praise be to God for my Dominican family!

Bl. Jane of Aza

Today is the memorial of Blessed Jane of Aza. 
Wife of Felix de Guzman.
Mother of Blessed Mannes and Saint Dominic.
So I guess that makes her the grandmother of all Dominicans.


A Three-Fold Prayer to Blessed Jane of Aza:

Blessed Jane of Aza, before Saint Dominic came to birth you dreamed a dream which foretold his mission to set the whole world on fire by the Holy Preaching. Today we, his children, your grandchildren, still dream dreams and long to be what we should be so that the whole world will catch the living flame of God's love~~intercede for us, Abuelita, that our dreams may not be in vain!

Blessed Jane of Aza, in your love for God you raised your sons Dominic and Mannes to be faithful servants and friends of the Lord~~intercede for us, Abuelita, that we may imitate them and speak only of God and to God!

Blessed Jane of Aza, you know the intentions that I am confiding to Jesus through the Blessed Virgin Mary and through your son in a novena before his feast day on the 8th of August. How I pray for my Dominican brothers, your grandsons: the 13 new novices who will receive the habit on the 8th, the 9 novices who will make solemn profession on the 13th, and the 16 novices who will make simple profession on the 15th~~do you also intercede for each one of them, Abuelita, in this time of joyful preparation!

***

Thanks be to God for my Abuelita and for the whole Dominican family!

on Walking on Water and Falling into His arms

Reflection on Mt 14:31a

"Like Peter, I do not in the end ever actually enter into the Lord's embrace as his love and mine blissfully and serenely proceed toward one another with unfaltering step. No: I will always fall into the Lord's arms gasping for breath after a close brush with death and having had to be rescued by Jesus from impending annihilation...He is my savior because he has in fact saved me: he has laboriously earned the title, and there is no time when this name can be shed by him in favor of something more exalted and flattering to my ego. Jesus can become Lover only because he has first been and remains Savior. He is the Bridegroom who has purchased me with his blood."

(Leiva-Merikakis, Erasmo. Fire of Mercy, Heart of the Word II, 386)

How true this is! And timely, too, as I draw near to my monthly day of remembrance (I choose Life!)...how many months has it been, Lord, since that first Wednesday of the November when I was a sophomore? And how much grace and love have I received since the day You drew me away from the edge and set my feet on solid ground once more? There is no time to count or calculate, but I can give You thanks every day of my life! Like Peter, I have been lifted out of the whirlpool of doubt and fear by the strong hand of Love. Like Peter, I have been gently chided: "Little child, why did you doubt? Do not doubt, but believe--I love you!" And Lord, You know everything; You know that I love you, too. Thank You for catching me; thank You for the gift of my life.

been counting since last week...

Giving thanks to God today for His 1000+X gifts:

From the second half of Monday last week:

1. the most recent batch of files--done. So many names triggering sweet and bittersweet memories at work.
2. first engagement
3. cooler weather

From Tuesday:

1. her wish for a blueberry muffin or banana bread fulfilled--by blueberry banana muffins!
2. finishing breakfast in tears of laughter for the second morning in a row (I love my crazy family!)
3. encounter with a Franciscan sister (and the three Friars of the Renewal are still here, too!)
4. joy in my heart, leaving the island. We're going on an adventure!
5. we turned onto Waterman Street. I lost the game.
6. keeping watch for the Providence College sign on the side of the highway...to pray for my Friars Preachers!
7. driving down the now familiar route to my convent...only we're not going to my convent. Just to a college run by Jesuits.  ; P
8. the most hospitable Wendy's staff I've ever met, just down the hill from the college where my sister will start as a freshman this fall 
9. re-entering Providence at 12:21...how's that for Providence?!
10. afternoon off from work...transition back to the 70s and early 80s tomorrow
11. email from my dear Mistress, clarifying a question I had. Now I can go to the Doctor's later this week!

Days of grace, noticing love in the big and little things, but not recording until all gratitude for all this came pouring out one afternoon (but not in chronological order, or any kind of order!)...

1. letter from one friend; package (with homemade honey!) from another
2. grace and courage to speak despite anxiety and fear
3. beginning "training"--jogging with littlest sister
4. the Communion of Saints
5. The Bishop of the Golden Tongue and the Bishop of the Golden Words
6. exploring Parade School and praying hard for Danny and his family
7. 2 CSC sisters looking after me
8. already building anticipation and prayer for Dominican Brothers: the 13, the 9, and the 16.
9. Adam of the Road and High Middle Ages History memories
10. early morning planting: the last of the bean plants
11. 99, 99, 99, and 99! See what glory and knowledge God has given!
12. the number 313 keeps on popping up at work...and I am so grateful for the Edict of Milan! 
13. littlest sister's great love revealed as we sit near the garden together in the afternoon: "I gave you the biggest raspberry, Mary!"
14. God's love is uncalculating, too!
15. 6 round band-aids covering my worst signs of weakness and the fun my sister and I had putting them on me and decorating them (this has to do with one of my yellow stars, by the way, the one that says, "you will never break your bad habits. Just keep giving in/ ignoring them/ getting angry about them"  I've given in to this one destructive habit for nearly 21 years and bear scars on my legs because of it. 21 years, and my legs have never been clear of scabs. I've had enough! But how can I get angry when one of my band-aids says, "God is Love!" and the others are pretty and I cannot get at my scabs to pick them off anymore?) God is good!
16. Ketchup makes everything better
17. bees in the raspberry patch
18. deadheading marigolds and memories of childhood gardening with Mommy (inchworm, inchworm, measuring the marigolds...)
19. shade
20. the promise of a new month rapidly approaching...and so many glorious feast-days ahead!  
21. confirmation of a hope--things are coming together! and it was worth the wait and even the fears last night, for the joy that I have now is so much the greater! 
22. and that he should take time out of his vacation to email me and reassure me that he has not forgotten, for this I am truly grateful, and beg a thousand blessings from God upon him!

Joining the Gratitude Community at A Holy Experience today and every Monday: