Tuesday, July 26, 2011

casual engagement #1

Last night, after messing around with templates, colors, backgrounds, etc...

"Did I just waste a whole hour, Lord?" I asked, trying not to get angry at myself.

"More than an hour, Mary." He replied. But it was his tone that caught me off guard. He did not chide me sharply as I would have done. No, he was gentle, truly calm and serene, even while correcting my imprecision. And, thanks be to God! his sweet reminder of the truth broke the tension before it even started to build up, diffused the anxiety before it had a chance to become a threat.

And I realized: this was engagement #1. The yellow star that says "You're wasting time again! Is that all you're good at?" was not the first yellow star that I would have picked to engage, but apparently God had other plans. So we talked some things over after that...time, talents, humility, falling down, love, etc. Here's an excerpt (one of the best parts):

"...in truth, I have fallen so many times."
"I've fallen too. One, two, three, times on the way to Calvary. And do you know what?"
"Your falls are the antidote to mine. You fell in love for me, that I might rise from my selfishness and love again!"
"So much for love!"
"Yes, Lord, I dare to say it: Your Love is my Love. And if this is not  true, make it true, I beg of You!"

The sweet conversation ended only when I noticed the time--it was rather late, and so He dismissed me:
"Go in peace, Mary. I am with you always, dear one"
"Even when I waste time?"
"Even when you waste time. I love you. Behold this Heart which has so loved men...go in peace."
...And I did.

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