Thursday, July 21, 2011
I haven't had any time to work with my yellow stars and war board recently, but have been thinking about the Love War and noticing things anyway. Inspired by the goings-on at Deep into Love, I have come up with the following commentary on my daily life and struggles:
1) Love doesn't panic...because it trusts in the Beloved.
Do I panic? Yes I do, far more often than I would like to admit...Why is this so?
a) I worry that there is not enough time to do x, y, z...and I Have to Do x, y, z, or ELSE.
b) I am not good enough for the task ahead of me...I need help, I can't do it! (Somehow I forget that I'm never alone, and have all the help in the world. Even when I ask for help, I often fail to trust that help will be given me, and even as it is being given, I let myself be blinded to it by fear and anxiety.)
c) someone has asked me a question...and oh, no, all of a sudden I have nothing to say. The answers have flown away. Again. And stuttering, stumbling over my own words, I panic and sound like a complete fool, a ne'er do well.
2) Love does not use the word "should," in a spirit of bitter regret or anxiety, because all that happens, happens according to God's loving plan and Providence.
This is something I struggle with a lot...
a) Sometimes the "shoulds" get in the way of actually living. I should do x, y, z, but I didn't. And now I'm angry at myself for not doing x, y, z. And being angry is a waste of time and energy. So now I am angry at myself for being angry...and I panic. But Love doesn't panic, see 1) above.
3) There have been more lessons running through my brain, but I've forgotten them...but Love forgives all!
Our God is the God of Love...God is Love! Blessed be God forever, for ages unending, Amen!