Tuesday, August 16, 2011

To be a Victim of Love

These are the words of Father Jean C.J. d'Elbee that I read before going into the examination room this morning, from his conference on The Eucharist:

"Let Him [Jesus] be sure of your smile. To be a victim [of love] is to smile. Total abandonment--'O Jesus, I thank You for everything'--that is enough." (I Believe in Love, 235)

When the nurse called my name, I followed her with prayer. After she had done a basic physical check and explained some things to me, I waited with prayer, and read some more of I Believe in Love...
Later, the doctor, perhaps sensing my nervousness and trying to calm me down, said to me, "You're always smiling, aren't you?...you have a beautiful smile!"

It is a smile for God.

I received the Eucharist this morning, and was surrendering at every moment -- surrendering everything to God Alone. He was my strength, and I did not cry out to anyone but Him.

In the end, the test was a success, though I was incredibly weak about the minor discomfort it involved.

And when it was all over, I gave thanks for my good health, and through some tears of joyful relief I pledged my life to God forever.

It is over. They say that the other test is not necessary, praise be to God. All I have left to do is to write a letter. And after that...just wait on God's mercy.

My Jesus, I trust in You!

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